No one can escape the clutches of Avatar’s 3D effects. It is one the biggest movie sensations ever, and if you’ve seen it then the chances are you’ve debated its merits.

Some love it and some hate it. One group who definitely love it are the big-wig studio men out in Hollywood. Can’t you hear them rubbing their hands together in collective glee and saying “Look at all this money!”?

It’s the 3D effect. Sure it costs more to make a film in 3D but the unjustified extra boost on both ticket prices, and the subsequent rise in amount of tickets sold, means the studios appear to have found an angle with which to hang on to their power with for a while longer yet. And hang on they shall. Over the next twelve months we will see a flurry of films shuffled about the make room for 3D paint jobs.Already this month we have Clash of the Titans and How to Train Your Dragon, both followed by “The Journey Begins in 3D” or something similar in a tagline. These are two average films and last year we were treated to a few other 3D delights such as Coraline, 9 and Toy Story 3D. The trouble is, now everyone is at it. All throwing in their chips and hoping to win big.

Don’t let this put you off though, as some upcoming films in 3D will be worth handing over the extra green for such as Disney favourite Toy Story 3, DreakWorks’ Oobermind and, with an all-star cast, Despicable Me. These should all be worthy of the excitement – key word being “should”- but check out these 5 baffling choices we may be subjected to:

Saw VII

Seven? Seriously? Who’s seen any of this franchise past the first three? It would be safe to say probably only randy teens looking for a quiet make-out spot or people with an unquenchable thirst for gore have. It’s hard to understand how the franchise can still justify putting another story together let alone taking the time to make it 3D. Brains flying into your laps anyone? Thought not.

Jackass 3D

Fairly amusing in the beginning, now wholly tiresome. It’s not the dangerous negligent behaviour sure to be on display which is shocking about this choice either, because we all know that nobody pays attention to the warnings, but do we really need to see wedgies, tiny men kicking themselves in the head and friends urinating on one another in 3D?

Yogi Bear

Not such a bad idea on paper, but when you consider that neither of its creators, Hanna and Barbera (both now deceased), had a hand in this project then it’s time to worry. It has some good names on the cast sheet such as Dan Akroyd and Anna Faris but Hanna-Barbera cartoons were all about the classic scratchy animation set up in a totally different era. Stay away from them pic-a-nic baskets!

Streetdance 3D/ Step Up 3D

Choices number 4 and 5 are mashed together here because neither deserves their own slot. They instead need to be pushed out into shark infested waters on a tiny boat riddled with holes. Dancing as an art form can be respected but since neither of these films appear to have great narratives (one not really even having a narrative at all) then what is the point in putting it in the cinema? Both feature “urban” youths flipping about at you in 3D and flailing their arms and legs along to “massive chunes”. If any real world urban youths attempted such feats they’d surely drop their white lightning, soggying their cheap cigarettes, and land flat on their backsides out on the nearest street corner.

So there you have it; five films not to spend your money on seeing in 3D anytime soon. And, while more are sure to rear their ugly heads, we should not forget it will all be worth it for the likes of Tron Legacy and a new Toy Story instalment. We pray to the gods of Cinema.

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