I had a theory last week on how to improve the disappointingly annoying, FlashForward. It involved, Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby and needless to say, had the writers of the show contacted me earlier, they would be bathing in the pool of glory that comes with such artistry. Unfortunately for them they didn’t but this week has nevertheless been an improvement of sorts. I can’t quite put my finger on the reason why but episode five seemed more interesting. It might have been because I found the phrase “crow attrition” so amusing. As if the crows, found dead after the flash forwards in both 1991 and 2009 ,died from exhaustion after some sort of Crowlympics. It was either that or the revelation that Janis is a lesbian.. It was the crows, honest! Well, probably.
Benford and his posse are hauled in front of the supreme court who have decided its about time to get a grip on the whole, millions dead, world catastrophe, largest global phenomenon in history thing. As you would expect, multiple agencies are investigating the flash forwards and it is up to the senate to choose which investigations should now receive additional funding and which should be scrapped.
The C.I.A have to be the first voted off, according to them the Chinese did it because most of them were asleep. If we’re using that sort of logic then students did it, most of them were asleep too or maybe Jessica Alba’s baby?
Stanford Wedeck, the boss of Benford’s FBI division, who had a vision of himself on the toilet 6months from now, comes to prominence. His contribution to this point has been to say things like “yeah” and “no” and “but i was on the toilet.” Now we learn that he has enemies in Washington, possibly cheated on his wife and so far, he’s FBI agent who understands what a metaphor is. It also takes him a good few hours to storm out of a building.
Benford is put on the stand to explain his vision and why he is only able to recall parts of it. In his flash forward he is drunk. His only defence is to say the word ‘presumably’ as often as possible. Senator Joyce “hard ass” Clementi also asks why none of his superiors have put this question to him, much to the displeasure of Wedeck, who storms out of the court room at lunch and doesn’t manage to find his way out of the building untill sunset.
I have a question, why was Benford the only person across all government divisions doing any work whatsoever in his flash forward?
Bad blood between Wedeck and Senator Hard Ass, forces Wedeck to nonchalantly bribe the president over a glass of whiskey in order to keep his investigation running.
Boooooring I hear you moan. You said something about lesbians didn’t you? I did. Yes I did! It turns out, Janis is a lesbian and she embarks on a relationship with a woman who in her flash forward, is wearing a wedding ring. Janis is of course pregnant in her flash forward. Who’s the daddy? Who’s the other mummy?
During the closing stages Benford and Co are ambushed by a mysterious armed squad and are able to remarkably to survive a side on car collision, gunfire and an explosion with the only damage being to Demetri’s tie, which was slightly askew. The laughably bad choice of soundtrack to accompany this perfectly manicured shootout makes the scene far funnier than it ought to be but that has become the staple of every episode of FlashForward to date. It reminded me of this.
Meanwhile, Janis suffers an ambush of her own, shot in the stomach by someone from ‘presumably’ the same team that attacked her colleagues.