Please be aware this episode recap contains spoilers and cynicism…
It’s that time of year again. This year I have decided to become a giant, miserable, hate infested cliché. I can’t stand Christmas. I hate how it just made me say, “it’s that time of year again,” like an overly cheery, festive, voiceover from one of the countless, coma inducing top 100’s we’re likely to see in the coming weeks. Yes Ricky Gervais is funny. We know, Michael Jackson was huge. Alright I get it, Blair Witch Project was scary, same as it was last year. I hate how it manages to seep and slither it’s way into to every orifice of human existence. TV adverts that make me detest Richard Hammond’s whimsical grin. Spotify adverts that have me begging to hear Roberta’s voice again. Music channels and radio stations that have already started playing “I Wish It Could be Christmas Everyday.” Any government agents out there, if I’m ever suspected of treason or conspiracy, play that song once and shortly after vomiting, I will tell you everything you want to know. Town centres filled with ugly and (I’m not a child but) really quite scary grottos. There is no safety zone. Until December 24th maybe 23rd, I don’t want to hear about ‘Christmas’ or ‘Xmas’ or ‘Winter Festival,’ especially during an episode of the already irritating, FlashForward. The prelude to an unusually proactive episode, is the angel of death watching Scrooge.
America’s programme scheduling means that this is the mid season finale of FlashForward and in it, comes some well deserved and ovedue treats.
The angel of death I referred to was Nhadra Udaya, the woman who phoned Demetri to tell him the time and method of his death. He and Benford travel to Hong Kong to track her down and find out the nature of her involvement. Demetri, on a mission to find his killer and Benford, on a mission to piss off as many people as he can for no real reason. He starts by showing how cultured he is, translating a Persian proverb while rudely parking his backside on a table of a couple who are just about tuck into a plate of dim sum.
A face to face meeting with Udaya produces the revelation that Benford will be Demetri’s killer. Shocked, stunned and racked with disbelief, Benford sets waiters running and restaurant tables flying in an ultimately futile hostage attempt. This stunt, along with his overall incompetence no doubt, is the last straw for Wedeck who relieves him of his duties, indefinitely. The C.I.A. who are becoming more and more involved in the investigation are seemingly in cahoots with Udaya and are monitoring the Chinese very closely.
Meanwhile, flash forward conspirators, Simon and Lloyd, arrange a press conference to come clean. Their admission is cut short however when a woman, who looked as though she was about to wet herself, felt so incensed by their mistake, she pulled a gun and opened fire on the bad scientists. The explanation of the experiment they were conducting was so confusing my brain switched to emergency power. Something to do with protons or photons and such like.
While Lloyd is racked with guilt, Simon absolves himself of any blame, excusing the death of millions because they didn’t mean to do it. Consultation with the FBI reveals that the duo weren’t responsible after all. D Gibbons, chess genius at large, makes a return, as the designer of the towers in Somalia. Simon’s sense of shock is wonderfully portrayed by a James Bond villain chair spin, all he needed was a cat.
Worried for his son’s safety now he is more hated than a govenrnment MP, Lloyd desperately tries to get Dylan transferred to a secure hospital. Wasn’t this boy supposed to be discharged about a month ago? All of a sudden he has a cast on his leg and has to be couriered by ambulance. Must be the autism. Lloyd is helped by Olivia who admires his bravery for taking misguided responsibility for the world wide catastrophe. The two future lovers could have met earlier had Olivia accepted a place at the same university as Lloyd. It turns out his, now dead, wife moved into the building Olivia was meant to live in next door. Aww how lovely, pass the sick bucket again.
In a plot twist that could have been seen from space, the suspicious looking ambulance men, who have definitely, definitely had their autistic training, turn out to be bad guys, kidnapping Lloyd and giving Mrs Benford a good smack across the chops.
Halfway through FlashFoward and it’s been a mixed bag of disappointment, with the odd morsel of intrigue tossed in with little, if any, care at all. We wont be seeing the unemployed Benford and company again until the new year but in the meantime, it’s bloody Christmas.