Each installment of Reclaimed Meat aims to celebrate and document the return to the pubic consciousness of some of our best loved and short lived celebrites and phenomena. Today, Reclaimed Meat tackles ‘politics’.

Once upon a time The Sharpener was all about inappropriate footwear, poor television debuts and the occassional celeb hook up – as a loyal servant to our dearest readers, we would doff our cap at popular culture, sweep up the juiciest titbits and present to you on a silver platter. But no, alas, it seems that the times have changed. In the week that saw Kerry Katona move house, that saw Victoria Beckham star in an advert and which marked the beginning of Brookside actress Suzanne Collins theatre career – you want to read about ‘politics’.

The Sharpener is in flux! We don’t have a clue about politics…unless the time we hummed along to 99 Red Balloons somehow counts? We always thought politics was just about who has the best dressed wife, who can be seen exercising the most and who can namecheck the Arctic Monkeys…oh, it still is? Right. But at least now they’ve added a live element – (can you vote by text BTW – has anyone checked this?) and tonight saw round two of the audition process, with Adam Boulton as Simon Cowell and Kay Burley as Cheryl (frankly we were just pleased to see a woman).  With its shiny floors, stylised outfits and earnest sob stories all that was really needed was some slow motion montages and a Chasing Cars instrumental and it would have REALLY been like the Joe Vs Olly Vs Stacey viewing gold all over again. Just like the way X Factor contestants perform abridged versions of songs, these guys repeated abridged versions of their policy – forget the nitty gritty, forget the crescendo…just go straight for the belting top notes: ‘Education good, recession bad’, ‘foxes are our friends, hospitals are important’ ‘don’t let the elderly get cold, crime is scary’ – we can see why you guys like it, really we can.

By far The Sharpener’s favourite part was at the end when the contestants are invited to shake each others hands - it reminded us of when the three members of Miss. Frank were introduced for the first time - awkward yes, unavoidable no, but with the subdued hint of potential.

Welcome back politics! You’re SOOO hawt right now!