To say it has been a busy month for Lindsay Lohan would be a gross understatement. Following a court order, Ms. Lohan will be surrendering herself to the justice system of L.A to serve a 90 day sentence for violating the terms of her parole.
Due to prison overcrowding in the state the chances are that Lindsay will serve 22 days of her sentence, but that hasn’t stopped the media circus rolling into town, with every commentator, fellow celebrity and Tweeter taking the opportunity to stick their oar in and become what is warmly known as ‘detractors’.
Most recently was comedian Joan Rivers, someone who The Sharpener has always rather liked, who laid into LiLo big time recently on that social networking site of choice, Twitter.
Do cast your eyes below if you NOT easily offended. Joan has been pretty acidic..
“Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.” 10:57 AM Jul 9th via web
“Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge”. 11:38 AM Jul 9th via web
“I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 Proof.” 11:44 AM Jul 9th via web
“Lindsay Lohan had “Fuck You” painted on her nails. What people don’t know is that the judge had “Eat me you party skank,” painted on hers. ” 2:14 PM Jul 9th via web
It’s a times like these that a girl could really do with a knight in shining armour – to defend her honour and cast off the naysayers – it would seem that Callum Best was busy, so Samantha Ronson stepped forward.
In a Tweet disobeying the normal laws of grammar and syntax, SamRo responded:
“Hey Joan Rivers- you have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait, I guess people that old can’t hear. #bully” 5:27 AM Jul 10th via web
We don’t really get what anyone is supposed to be ‘hearing’ but we appreciate the effort and the sentiment. We also were rather proud that Lindsay had maintained a dignified silence over the whole sorry affair…
And then, someone clearly gave Lindsay her Blackberry back, as the follow missive later appeared …again on Twitter:
“Joan Rivers and her “stargument” make me believe that she and Michael Lohan are a match made in heaven…. ”
“…all he needs is her botox doctor. “Dr.” Drew- any ideas? Botox rehab reality show?”
“in the words of 50 cent.. “You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth”
Rarely have we seen the lyrics of 50 Cent employed in such poignant means, and we didn’t realise that Joan Rivers has undergone such a radical cosmetic procedure that would leave her with a glass jaw. Is that what Madonna has?
Either way – Lindsay doesn’t hand herself over to the State until the 20th, which leaves plenty of time for this feud to run and run…and run..
#FREELINDSAY
