As Cheryl Cole takes some time out from her numerous commitments as she recovers from Malaria, she needn’t worry about abandoning her role as judge on our beloved X Factor, as newly married Katie Price has offered up her services.

“Simon knows where I am. I’m honest but some people will say: “Why’s she’s doing it? What’s she got to with it? Blah, blah,” but I’ve still got ears and can still hear things and can see looks.”

“I’ve had my fair share, 13 years in the industry. My whole job is about looks and what other people look like – I still have a fair opinion.”

Quite the ringing self-endorsement – ‘looks’ ‘ears’ and ‘having had (a) fair share’ are pretty good pre-requisites for the role we think, but somehow The Sharpener reckons Cheryl’s job is safe.

Unless you’ve been buried under a rock OR have been reading about more important things (Mandy’s memoirs, the OBRs report on the budget etc), you’ll know that Cheryl has only recently been released from hospital having been treated for Malaria, contracted on a holiday with dancing friend Derek Hough.

Cheryl’s father told the Daily Mirror:

“We don’t know how long she’ll be in hospital, I don’t think the doctors know. We’re just all so relieved she’s all right”

It has also been reported that Cheryl has been advised to take up yoga to deal with her stress levels, and stop her restrictive blood type diet to rebuild her strength.