Winners.

Last night, the luminaries of Britain’s acting and entertainment industry descended on London in a flourish of borrowed gowns, flaxen hair extensions and acrylic nails. No, you’re right, not the BAFTA nominations, but the British Television Awards.

Katie Price, a one time member of Liberty X, Simon Cowell and the extensive casts of Eastenders, Hollyoaks, Coronation Street and more, were out in force as various British institutions collected gong after gong…after gong, whilst being serenaded by X Factor talents Joe McElderry and hilarious novelty act, Vanilla Ice who performed with Jedward.

As well as an award ceremony, both Cheryl Cole and Simon Cowell used the intimate ceremony at the 02 Arena as an opportunity to ‘lay hands on’ their fellow judge Dannii Minogue’s blossoming baby bump (we’re guessing it was some kind of mysticism they picked up during filming in Dubai)- cue lots of hilarious red carpet moments!

The big winners of the night it seemed was not, as maybe first thought, British television, but actually Ant and Dec, who won both ‘Most Popular Entertainment Presenter’ and ‘Most Popular Entertainment Programme’ for their Saturday Night Takeaway. It’s most revealing that the category wasn’t named ‘best’ but ‘most popular’ – don’t you think?

Despite taking to the stage with their trademark comedy stylings, it wasn’t Ant and Dec’s decade long dominance of this award ceremony which got everyone talking. Even though, The Sharpener would hate to ignore the tenacity that this cheeky pair have shown – as they have climbed from pubescent actors on ailing children’s show Byker Grove, to the composers of epoch defying ditty ‘Ready to Rumble’ and Britain’s best loved geordie, male presenting duo with staggering height differences (the competition has been fierce).

No, no. It was the defiant victory of our daily lunchtime henparty, Loose Women in the ‘Most Popular Factual Programme’ category, beating all those boring history programmes and documentaries that clutter up the listings. When the gaggle of ladies took to the stage – including the likes of Jane McDonald (who after her star turn in The Cruise, did spend several years reporting from Helmand Province) and Carol McGiffin who was once married to quite a capable journalist – The Sharpener was MOST annoyed that they had seemingly left their pink feather boas, L-plates and fairy wings on their seats.

And for those of you still gagging for more of last night’s thigh slapping, red faced and bawdy fun – here are a selection of women wearing frocks. DISCLAIMER: Some of these outfits are not ‘FASHIONABLE’ You’ve been warned…

  • Outstanding Drama Performance – David Tennant for Doctor Who
  • Outstanding Serial Drama Performance – Lacey Turner for Albert Square
  • Most Popular Drama – Doctor Who
  • Most Popular Serial Drama – Coronation Street
  • Most Popular Entertainment Presenter – Ant & Dec
  • Most Popular Entertainment Programme – Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway
  • Most Popular Talent Show – The X Factor
  • Most Popular Comedy Programme – Gavin and Stacey
  • Most Popular Star Travel Documentary – Stephen Fry in America
  • Most Popular Factual Programme – Loose Women
  • Most Popular Newcomer – Craig Gazey for Coronation Street
  • Special Recognition Award – Stephen Fry

Image courtesy of Daily Mail / PA