America is bracing itself for the biggest election turnout in it’s history today. Sabrina Mahfouz eases the tension as we wait nervously for election results, with a tongue-in-cheek glance over last months’ celebrity-backed campaign trail antics.
Anyone with even a slight interest in the future of our world will be tuning in to the US election results late tonight. What has really made this campaign unusual (apart from the small issues of the first black candidate and a potential vice-president who doesn’t know what newspapers she reads) is the celebrity endorsement that has brought the red-carpet walkers firmly into the political fight and made millions of people tune into their campaign songs, speeches, raps and rants.
So for those of us more accustomed to MC battles than political metaphoric punch-ups, who’s topping the election charts?
Chris Rock will obviously be Obama’s number one advisor on how to make the humble American people see the humour in a recession. Meanwhile, Jay Z will be creating PR policies to ensure that Mr Obama has no trouble getting that dirt off his shoulder, should it ever settle.
Ed Norton will manage to teach faultless Fight Club moves to a downsized military in order that the great country of dreams will remain protected from evil, without unnecessary heavy artillery. If that fails, Ludacris will just kill all enemies of the state with his hard-hitting lyrics, and Sheryl Crow will ensure that all religions are regarded equally by making the masses believe that God really is ‘one of us’.
McCain’s support has come from country duo Big and Rich, whose help on economic issues will be irreplaceable. Let’s not forget little LeAnn Rimes who will educate McCain on how to achieve and maintain his pole position in the polls. Surprise special guest is Daddy Yankee, the reggaeton star who will be the chief Latino mediator during any riots caused by the very un-Republican trait of fixed election results.
What do you think?
Who have you noticed backing either candidate, and have they been a help or a hindrance?
If you agree with Sabrina, or disagree, get commenting below.
Who do you think will win tomorrow and what changes do you think will come into play; both in the US and the rest of the world?