Director/ Producer: Scott Stewart
Writer: Peter Schink, Scott Stewart
Release Date: August 9 2010
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Number of discs: 1
Region: 2
Price: From £9.99
Running Time: 100 mins
Certificate: 15
Starring: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Adrianne Palicki, Tyrese Gibson, Kate Walsh, Willa Holland, Kevin Durand, Charles S. Dutton
The trailer for Paul Bettany’s last major role as Michael in Legion, suggested it would be nothing more than utterly ludicrous entertaining trash, hilarious for all the wrong reasons – despite this, the audacity of a bold plot premise is to its merit.
Sick of all mankind’s “bullshit” a traditionally merciful God implements mass extermination, instructing his angels to possess humans and pit themselves against each other. Michael, an angel and general in God’s army is given an order he does not believe in and becomes “the rebellious son” going down to earth to save mankind.
Meanwhile, on their way to Scottsdale the Anderson family’s car breaks down and they wind up in a New Mexico desert diner where eight months pregnant waitress, Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), works. Simpleton Jeet (Lucas Black), the diner owner’s son (Dennis Quaid as Bob Hanson) dotes on Charlie and will do anything to protect her.
Queue Gladys Foster, affectionately named “Grandma”, a seemingly nice old lady who walks with a zimmer frame and beams at the dinner staff and customers, introducing herself and delightedly announcing: “It will all be over soon… I said your fucking baby is going to burn. All those little babies are going to burn. You are all going to fucking die.” A foul-mouth is not all Gladys has as she hungrily bites Howard Anderson before spider-pigging it along the ceiling slack-jawed with her triangular shark teeth on display.
The gang are fearful and confused; the TV, radio and phone are down and dust clouds seen in the distance are in fact “a mother-fucking pestilence” preventing their escape. Just as chef, Percy (Charles S. Dutton) announces, “I’m going to get my bible – somebody’s got to start praying,” the mysterious Michael shows up to explain the apocalypse is upon them and that the birth of Charlie’s baby is the only hope for humanity.
With the eerie sound of an ice cream van approaching, they prepare for battle, lock all doors and barricade themselves in. The rest of Legion sees the diner gang fight “malicious gatherings” with one wave of the Pac Man jawed spider-like possessed testing their strength followed by a second test of weakness by an onslaught of cars containing juddering people shaking demonically, possessed like characters paused in a computer game. Legion turns into a race against time for Charlie to give birth to the redeemer and re-write the future.
The script is liberally peppered with appalling one liners – far too many to mention as either Michael spouts vague mystical references or comical macho talk; Charlie muses nonsensically; Percy makes supposedly clever observations and gives an incredibly unconvincing ‘touching’ speech and the intentionally sinister, Gabriel with his metal wings and laughably gruff gravely Terminator voice, sternly announces: “You wanted to live like one of them but now you will die like one of them.”
Set to cheesy angelic sounding music, much of the fight between Gabriel and Michael as they grapple with each other, looks more like a gay love scene than mortal combat; Charlie’s labour is conveniently speedy and the miraculous survival of the baby after a severe car crash with no booster seat, carrier or seat belt is entirely implausible.
Legion is Scott Stewart’s second outing as Director – his background is in visual effects so where Legion fails miserably to satisfy in script and plot, it certainly doesn’t in vision. Sadly, looking pretty isn’t enough to save Legion from its consistently poor characterisation and dialogue making it nothing more than something to laugh at.
**
Special Features:
DVD
- Creating the Apocalypse – Behind the Physical Effects
- Humanity’s Last Line of Defense – The Cast and Characters
- From Pixels to Picture – A Look at the Visual Effects
Blu-ray
- Bringing Angels To Earth: Picture-in-Picture
- Creating the Apocalypse – Behind the Physical Effects
- Humanity’s Last Line of Defense – The Cast and Characters
- From Pixels to Picture – A Look at the Visual Effects
