What to take?? I’m taking Mr Millard and the four Juniors on a crazy trip around the world – well just the French speaking world, actually – all the overseas French territories. And boy do the French have some nice overseas departments – all French, but in paradisial areas such as the Indian Ocean and the South Pacific. Heavenly, if you can avoid the malaria and the poisonous shellfish. But at the mo, we are still in London, N1, packing our knickers. Five per person. We are going with handluggage only, you see. So its clothing rations, under my tres strict vantage point. Well, I don’t want to carry it all, now do I? Or spend hours at Cayenne International Airport waiting for our luggages perdus. Let the likes of Joan Collins send her luggage on ahead, in matching Louis Vuitton sack-loads. Me, I’m doing rucksacks for the big kids and ride-on Trunkies (basically hollowed out animals) for the Smalls. And I’m just going to wear swimwear.