Desperate times for diminutive French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who this week resorted to a spot of trickery to make himself look taller.

 In a move that illusionist Derren Brown would have been proud of, the 5ft 5in statesman recruited a bunch of workers – all more vertically-challenged than him – to appear in the background during a televised speech at the Faurecia motor technology plant near Caen.

 Why go through all that deception, one may ask? Well, apparently the poor little fella didn’t want to risk a repeat of June’s fiasco when he was caught standing on a stool while giving a D-Day commemoration speech alongside Gordon Brown (6ft 2in) and Barack Obama (5ft 11in)!

 So, it would appear that since then two elements of Sarko’s life have remained constant – his height plus a penchant for a spot of visual trickery! But the big question is:  has he gained in political stature? Answer: I doubt it very much.

 MAMA MIA!

Meanwhile, Italian counterpart Prime Minister Silvio (the alleged stallion) Berlusconi is at it again – if you’ll excuse the pun – and hogging the limelight on one of the numerous TV channels he owns.

During an interview, Mr Berlusconi declared that most Italians wanted to be like him. “Most Italians are not interested in my private life but in the performance of my government and my political integrity,” he said.

Wise words, indeed, from a 72-year-old who has been accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a teenage model and of being involved in an escort girl scandal!

 Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m really struggling to recall anything about Mr Berlusconi’s political performance! It’s his other performances (again, allegedly) that seem to grab the headlines.

 Anyway, keep up the good political work, Silvio. Ever onward and upward, as they say!

 JAFFA BOMBSHELL 

Now, ‘don’t mention the war’ but the British Jaffa Cake – manufactured in Scotland by McVitie’s since 1927 – is under attack from our friends across the North Sea.

 Yes, a German food company has ‘declared war’ and come up with a totally ‘new’ idea: an oblong Jaffa Cakey-type snacky thing that’s, well…. the best thing since white bread! That last bit is probably not true but, according to manufacturers Bahlsen, the oblong shape is better for dunking and packing. Cunning lot, eh!

 Oh, and the new product also boasts edge-to-edge orange filling – something that doesn’t seem to bother McVitie’s in the slightest – as happily, the company has pledged to continue it’s yummy ‘mound in the middle’ approach.

 GOODBYE KISS

Well, let’s hop back to France again – and to what could be a ban on traditional snogging as a greeting – well, la bise to be precise.

 Because of the threat of swine flu, the French health ministry has warned everyone to stop planting smackers on both cheeks (a custom perceived by some to be a tad OTT and itself unhealthy) when meeting, in an attempt to avoid spreading the virus.

 My immediate reaction is:  good. One kiss? Acceptable. Two? Erm….well, it depends who you are meeting socially! And then swine flu might not really come into the equation!

 At the moment, this ‘ban’ on la bise is only a recommendation, but could become law if emergency measures to prevent the spread of the virus are adopted this winter.

 In any event, my advice is don’t kiss anyone more than once – especially not strangers – unless you think they are fit (?) and healthy!

 Plenty of scope there, then.

 Have a great weekend.