If killer fish, buckets of blood or copious cleavage don’t spell a good night out, then you should probably stop reading now. Piranha 3-D is not subtle, nor well written, acted or a dozen other markers by which you could judge a good film. However it is barrels of fun and bitingly funny!

An underwater earth tremor unleashes scores of pre-historic piranhas into a lake, just as thousands of students converge on the nearby town for Spring Break. An unlikely group must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food.

The original Piranha had incredibly ropey effects and was seen as a cheap rip of  Jaws, while taking shots at the American Army testing bio weapons. Alexandre Aja’s update has no such political undercurrent and sets it stall out early as Great White survivor Richard Dreyfuss (actually credited as Matt Hooper, his Jaws character) discovers how to lose 10 stone in less than a minute. Eat your heart out weightwatchers.

After a B movie set -up where we meet the shy townie, the girl he secretly loves and thousands of students who are crying out to to be fish fodder, the story takes a little too much time attempting to build tension. However once the deadly fish converge on their quite literal all you can eat buffet, it’s a case of let the carnage begin!

With Ving Rhames getting medieval on some piranha ass, Christopher Lloyd as a crazy wide eyed fish expert (who sadly doesn’t exclaim Great Scott!) and Kelly Brook playing perhaps her perfect role as a busty porn star with a heart of gold, the star names gamely step up to be a cartilage sandwich for the razor toothed fish.

This is a film that wears its heart on its sleeve and probably most of its innards too. Rather than attempting to reduce the blood-letting to secure a 12a, rating, Aja goes as postal as the angry fish. No body part is safe and be warned the yuk factor increases as new and elaborate ways are found to slaughter extras. However the film lives up to its 80’s roots, always remaining on the funny side of gross. It’s the kind of movie that only gets better in a full cinema as the shrieks increase.

Looking at it negatively, Piranha could be seen as incredibly exploitative. Kelly Brook, nude in 3-D may have been more of a draw for the money men than the thought of killer flying fish flying out at the screen. However much of the humour is derived from the fact that the teenagers make themselves easy fodder by diving into the lake even while the Sheriff (a game Elisabeth Shue) is trying to warn them off.

Plus any British students might be happy to see them die simply because they get to enjoy a spring break partying in the sun, rather than earning £4/hour in the local Boots.

With no loftier ambition but to entertain, Piranha is a guilty pleasure which deserves to take bite size chunks (no more fish puns I promise) out of the box office.