My broadband connection has been cancelled by the telephone company. I know I don’t owe them any money. I owe other people money, but not the internet provider, nor the telephone company. I am told it is an administrative error. They tell me it is going to take 20 days to reconnect my broadband! Why am I so distressed? I can feel my stomach churning. I realise how ridiculously dependent I am on the internet. I keep in touch on the internet, I do research instantaneously, I check my bank account, I make payments, I tweet. Well, I will tweet, when I can get my head around tweeting. I communicate with the editor of the armed robber’s memoirs on the internet. I look for jobs on the internet. I confess my woes to you all at t5m on the internet.
Momentarily, I long for parchment paper, a quill pen and a friendly horse and rider to take my missives, deliver them by hand, and return with the reply. In the meantime, I have purchased a dongle. A dongle connects my laptop to my mobile phone provider. But said dongle, will not connect by a broadband connection. I telephone technical services at the mobile phone company. The technical advisor suggests I use my laptop outside! It may be that the dongle cannot pick up the broadband connection through my walls. It is blowing a bloody gale. My neighbours look on amazed as I sit, in my coat, typing my blog. The dongle is still showing green. If I was connected to a broadband connection it would be blue, not green! I am going to endeavour to post my blog, but it may take almost as long to post it as it would’ve taken if I had used a trusty rider and his horse!
My mobile phone is ringing. I can see its Barry. For the first time ever, I can’t face speaking to him. I can’t deal with the broadband crises and the Bailiff!