We borrowed a tent the size of a bungalow, stuffed the car with double duvets and pillows and headed off for Glastonbury. I hadn’t been for years and years. I don’t remember anything about the last time I went, except the man I was with, or not with more to the point. This time I had a husband and two young children and a very respectable car. We had been offered tickets by my friends in-laws as they have a cottage on the land and I suppose they are given tickets in lieu of the general smell and the noise, which isn’t great if you’re in your seventies, actually the smell isn’t great at any time. My husband wanted to see Bon Iver and so did I quite. I wanted to see Tom Jones but by Sunday afternoon was generally too tired, too mashed and too hot. But the smell stayed with me for a while. It’s putrid – a unique mixture of cow dung, general rubbish and urine.

I was fascinated to learn that Glastonbury has its own doctors surgery, dentist and even a midwife. You could spend the entire 5 days being seen to if you were a hypochondriac and you didn’t care about the music. On the list of what to do, it says if you think you are going to give birth, go straight away to the midwife tent. I can’t think why anyone would want to go to Glastonbury so near their due date but I suppose, potentially, you could be that crazy.

We put up our tent in our friends inlaws orchard and some sassy girl said we were very German to be taking up so much space, which was embarrassing. That evening we saw a bit of Bruce but only from a screen. We saw a bit of Bon Iver who were brilliant, but because of the scale of the place, I never managed to meet up with some other friends which was frustrating. I kept wishing that I didn’t have to get up early with the children (the inlaw had kindly agreed to babysit) or that I was younger and didn’t care about the smell.

But really does it have to be quite so big? It should be scaled down and to really enjoy it you should be aged between about 15 and 27. That is my verdict. However my 8 year old and 5 year old liked the “kidz field” and the Theatre field. I loved the theatre field too.

My hostess is very worried about the wildlife on the site, she says everything living is wiped out. She has a point.