I’ve been busy. I packed in three films over the weekend, and rather than dedicate a single review to each (and since others at t5m have already covered 2 of the films in depth) I’ve cut down my response to the bare essentials. Energy-efficient reviewing is going to be the next big thing. Why not put it on your iPhone/BlackBerry? Have you even got time to go to the cinema? Do something productive!

Dead Man Running

Most of the funding for this film was put up by Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole. They are professional footballers, in case you didn’t know, and as you might imagine their taste in films is roundly reflected in this cockney gangster action flick. It’s an absolutely ridiculous romp* through the underbelly of London and eventually Manchester, with an ex-con forced to payback £100,000 to an American kingpin (played with surprising subtlety by Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson) within 24 hours. If he don’t do eht befaw ‘is time is up, ‘is deer ol’ mum’ll get ‘er ‘ead blown clean orff, dunt’cha naw?

Guy Ritchie could have penned this film in his sleep, and Danny Dyer’s presence may be enough to put many people off. It made me smile, but it might make you sick and sleepy, possibly at the same time. On a positive note, at least they didn’t try and remake Scarface.

The Men Who Stare At Goats

A film that lacks both thematic and comedic clout. I smiled, and there are a couple of laugh out loud moments. But it is washed over by a sense of misplaced superiority that makes the characters difficult to like and the jokes harder to enjoy.

Fantastic Mr Fox**

I was expecting a transatlantic butchering of the beloved source material, but was pleasantly surprised by the authentic feel of the result. It takes a little time to get into the style and flow of the film, but once the central story gets going things come together neatly. And the self-deprecating humour which runs throughout is far more refreshing and funny than the over-written brand displayed by TMWSAG.

So, in conclusion, if you want old-school action fun that doesn’t have Jason Statham in it, go and see Dead Man Running. If you want to laugh, go and see Fantastic Mr Fox. And if you want to laugh less, go and see The Men Who Stare At Goats.

*sorry

**did anyone else think that Michael Gambon was doing a Peter Cook impression?