It was aperitivo time in Florence – but, then, when isn’t it? After meeting her Italian friend, Donatella (no relation to THE Donatella), the two of them perched ourselves on two of those impossibly high stools in a glossy bar off one of the city’s main piazzas. It was then freshly off the plane Susan made her fatal error. She ordered before Donatella had a chance to speak or before she had browsed the sail-sized illustrated list.

‘Gin and tonic’, she chimed.

Gin and tonic!!!!!

The silence in the bar was palpable. The waiter gave Donatella a pitying look and then automatically gazed down at Susan’s shoes. He was obviously thought she was wearing her bedroom slippers. Trying not to look too embarrassed, Donatella ordered her glass of chilled Prosecco and explained to Susan that her order immediately pegged her as a turista and an unsophisticated one at that. Cringing, she asked what she should have been drinking not to appear such a pillock. The safest bet, Donatella pointed out, was something called l’aperitivo della casa, the cocktail whipped up for his regular customers by the head bartender of whatever bar you happened to be in, or else a glass of cold dry wine wine (NEVER red wine) or even an old Italian favourite like a Bellini (Prosecco and peach puree) or a Rossini (Prosecco and strawberry puree). She would know next time. But, seeing Susan still looked mortified, Donatella lent over and whispered:

‘Cheer up, sweetie, it’s nowhere near as bad as ordering a cappuccino at the end of your meal!’