Inception, directed by Christopher Nolan,  has scored front pages galore while Empire, the film mag, devoted some 25 pages to the film, and its director, nine of which featured the stars of his previous films espousing the English born director’s virtues. But, in my opinion, Memento (2000) was un-watchable, Insomnia (2002) was okay but I certainly wouldn’t pay to watch it; The Prestige (2006) was an utter shambles while his two Batman movies really didn’t do it for me at all. And, I’m sure that he is a very nice chap but I do not ken the genius moniker – especially after seeing Inception.

Okay, it’s a brave film that, rather complex, tells of a fellow named Cobb (Leonardo Di Caprio) who has perfected the art of breaking into people’s dreams and stealing ideas and information. But, within those dreams there are different levels of dreams within dreams and thus, the question of what’s real and what is not, arises.  But to be honest, I didn’t give a monkey’s arse as all the tortuous, elaborate plot did was to allow Nolan to unleash a barrage of technically quite brilliant but, thoroughly unnecessary special effects that, best off in a Bond movie, bored me within an inch of my life. Not that I cared as I lost the will to live after the first 30 minutes.

And yes, the performances are good enough (especially Tom Hardy and Jason Gordon-Levitt) but it’s  purely  a big old action movie with car chases and shootouts and fisticuffs that, shrouded in pure convolution, might allow some to call this an intelligent movie for fear of seeming thick. Yet, I cared not about the characters or the plot or the effects or the idea or the film and wished I’d stayed indoors and cleaned the cat tray.  I firmly believe that this is a prime case of the Emperor’s New Clothes and am hoping and praying that someone will have the cojones to shout – “Oi! He’s got no bloody  clothes on!!!”
 
Of course, the other big release of the summer in, Toy Story 3, that seems to have lived up to its every last expectation. I failed to see it but dispatched the good lady and 5 year old to catch in 3D it at the marvellous BFI IMAX theatre in Waterloo. Ipso facto, I thus thought that, for a change I’d give you their reactions. First thing the boy did on return after crashing into the flat was virtually dive into his toy box headfirst and take out his Buzz Lightyear and Woody figures.

“It was  awesome  Dad,” he squealed almost too excited to speak. “Tyler (his little pal) and me were laughing all the time and mummy almost cried. Can I go see it again with you next time tomorrow?” Praise indeed. “Pixar are the only company that can make both kids and adults really love their films,” said the Mrs. “And this was absolutely brilliant in the truest sense of the word. The script was hilarious, the characters multi-layered and the story superb. All the adults in the cinema were laughing their heads off and the kids howling with joy. I could watch it again right now.”

Inception and Toy story are out now nationwide and also at The BFI IMAX London SE1. Tickets; 020 7199 6000 or online at www.bfi.org.uk/imax